Host: “Hi, I’m your host, Sierra Madre. Welcome to the Versatile Blogger Award Nomination Party. We are joined now by The Bagman, a relative newbie to the blogging scene, but a future star I m sure.”
Bagman: “Thank you, Sierra. I just have to say how thrilled I am since last night I was nominated for The Versatile Blogger Award. I would to thank the Academy of CHUCK for the nomination, who is a fellow nominee and whose blog I enjoy. Besides, he used to live in Texas, spent some time at my Alma Mater, TCU, and knows Fort Worth eateries. Given all that, he is all right in my book! I know it’s corny, but it is truly an honor just be nominated”.
Sierra: “Wow, what a humble, appreciative, sincere expression of gratitude, Bagman”.
Heckler jumps between them:”Right! Like you don’t want to win! Who doesn’t wanna win? Ever hear anyone say, “Man, I hope I really get third!” It might help the high school track team when you come in second, third, or eighth place, in real life, people wanna win. If second or third has prize money or a trip to the Bahamas, it helps, but in America, winning is everything! Let me tell……mmmmffffffff.”. Police tackle heckler and drag him off camera.
Bagman: “Wow. Weird, huh? It’s sad that people feel that way….and can get on these shows. The goal should not be winning, but doing your best, regardless of recognition. Of course, recognition is always……..”
Heckler breaks free and stares into camera: “Ever watched the Olympics and the American gets second or third place. What good is that? LOSER! OW!” Police club and drag him away again.
Sierra: “I am so sorry, Bagman, I have never seen anything like this before. He is like, crazy”.
Bagman: “I think “troubled” is a better term, Sierra. He has a point, actually. What if they run their personal best but still lose? What’s the sportscaster say every time? “Oh, how disappointing! You didn’t win. What happened?” Gee Wiz! The guy or girl didn’t win but just did the very best they have ever done! They still got the silver or bronze, and that helps out our team as a whole, but we are SO disappointed.All the sportscaster did was make them feel worse. I think our priorities as a country are a bit skewed”.
Heckler from the ground in cuffs now: “Oh really, Mr. Perfect? I knew you back in the day!
Bagman: Staring……”Joe? is that you? When did they let you out?”
Heckler: “Tonto! My name’s Tonto! Where’s my horse?”
Sierra: “What does he mean, “back in the day”, Bagman?”
Bagman: “Ok, I was a bear when we lost football games when I was playing . I was a LITTLE intense…….for a few days…..but I’ve mellowed.
Heckler: “LIAR! What about your kids? HERE HORSEY HORSEY!”
Bagman: “Ok, I was a bear when my kids lost games too. It wasn’t their fault, it was THOSE DANG COACHES! I SWEAR IF THEY WOULD ONLY…….. ”
Heckler: See! See! OW! OW! There he goes! Just let him ….OW, STOP IT!……get started on awards shows! Tonto has….OW!….. rights!”
Bagman: “You know, Sierra, I am digressing a bit. I am truly glad to be nominated. It is my first nomination since I began this blog a month ago. I am truly touched…”
Heckler: “You’re touched in the head!”.
Sierra: “Looks like our time is up….”
Bagman: “So, to wrap it up, I would again like to thank the academy for the nomination and as required by the laws of Blogdom, my nominees for the Versatile Blogger Award are”
Sierra: “We’re outa time Bag Boy!”
Sierra: “Be quiet! It’s my show!”
Sierra: “I’m gonna stuff this microphone inside that bag”
Bagman: VERY LOUDLY: Someone call Domestic Diva, MD!
Announcer: “News Flash! Masked blogger attacked by Tonto and enraged runway model. Story at 11.”